onsdag 19 september 2007

Harfhaye khodemani

gharibe ashenaye man
Inrooza delam kheili gerefte rastesh nemidonam az koja shoro konam, amma behtare az inja shoro konam ke modatie delam ro bakhtam, be kesi ke aslan nabayad mibakhtam. Yani man har chi begam az in rabete kam goftam. In rabete kheili moshkel dare, yani por az darde sare. az zamanike man varede in rabeteye atefi shodam roz bero etiadam be in rabete bishtar mishe. Yek chiz ke azyatam mikone ine ke khodam moghaseram, chera chon az hamon ebteda midonestam ke in rabete be jayi nemirese, amma nemidonam chera be ghole farangiga "keep going forward" ba inke midonestam payani joz nakami nadare.
Niyazi be shematat va sarzanesh nadaram chon khodam be khobi khodam ro daem sarzanesh mikonam amma che fayede ke man roz be rooz vabastetar misham o in rabete dard avar tar.
kash kesi bood ke mitonest vasam noskhei bepiche ke betonam az in ehsase vabastegi va behtare begam delbastegi nejat peida konam.
In shakhsi ke azash sohbat mikonam, ba harfaye delneshinesh, ba poshtekaresh, ba sedaye garmesh, makhsoosan ba cheshmaye mehrabonesh, del o hosh az man borde. Amma kash faghat in side of story bood amma moshke l ine ke sekke hamishe 2roo dare. Hala onvare sekka ro ham negah konim. In aziz ke azash sohbat mikonam tanha nist, sharayete stabil nadare va yeki az haminroozha momkene vase hamishe az in shar bere.
sarzanesham az ine ke man ke hamishe tasavor dashtam ke shakhse khoddari hastam va be rahati delam ro jayi nemibakhtam, pas chetor shod ke delam ro inbar bakhtam???
kash kesi bood ke harfam ro mifahmid. kash kesi ro dashtam ke mitonest rah ro behem neshon bede. Kash kesi ro dashtam ke mitonest dardam ro taskin bede.
Az emroz midonam ke dige nemitonam bebinamesh, na cheshmaye merabonesh ro va na sedaye garmesh ro. In badtarin tavalodi bode ke tahala dashtam :-(
omidvaram ke bezodi delam arom beshe o zendegim roye revale addish biofte, amma vase roye reval oftadan niaz be faramosh kardanesh daram. Kash kesi bood rah ro behem neshon midad, kash hargez in 6mahe akhar ro tajrobe nakarde boodam, kash delam aroom mishod o khabe shabone behem barmigasht, kash...

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